 He
sat for some time watching the flames of the angels, the gradually
dimming glow that had been his home. The woman said
nothing, casting an occasional glance at him to try and catch
this new thing, meaning, in his eye, searching for the acceptance
that had been there before - but there was none.
He sat a long
time, his belly heavy at that momentary thoughtlessness.
Part of him - how strange this concept, "part" (he
caught these two energies, the habitual and the new, and watched
them vie with each other - so alien, so new, almost fascinated,
were it not for a sickness which lay deeper, deeper) - that
part wanted to blame, blame the figure who now sat a little
way off, to scream at her partiality; but he knew he
could not blame: he, he had accepted, acted, devoured
this new experience. He gazed at the glow over
Eden, and quietly, imperceptibly, turned the blame and anger
in on himself.
 "What
are you thinking?" she asked. What a strange
concept - "thinking". What was it?
Before, she had known him utterly, his being was her being,
her being his. This strangeness - this strangeness of
not knowing......
He grunted.
The sound surprised him. He found it unpleasant.
She too, noted it and sighed, and caught the sigh with a new
unease.
Only one picture
stayed with him: the life he had just left - with such
suddenness, in one quiet moment of forgetting (forgetting?
What was that? What was there to remember
before? His mind twisted at the incomprehensibility
of this) let fly away.
He turned to
her, looking for ........looking for........ Her eyes moved
down to the ground, away behind to the wastes which were now
their home. Why was he waiting, this man?
He followed
her look. Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing. Nothing. What was she watching?
The bleakness
sunk deep in his belly, and suddenly caught the hint of a
picture in his mind. What was it?
What was it?
Ah, yes - Eden......
but so much dimmer now.
He looked up
whence he had come and saw indeed that it was much dimmer,
barely a memoried haze. In the picture he felt
a need, an urge.
What was it
he had to remember? His mind battled with new
pictures: Eden. Eden.
Edentree. Eden. Edengarden.
Eden. Walks. Yes walks.
Eden. The memory, the feeling of another presence.
What was it? Who was it?
He breathed
hard and deep, and again the picture came in all its fullness.
He held it steady, keeping it taut, ready in his mind;
leapt to his feet and turned, purposefully, doggedly and faced
the bleakness, the picture before him. He moved.
The woman had
already set off, stopping occasionally to pick up ..... something,
to note - a stone, a root, a trickle.
On an impulse,
he looked back. What had been a fact was now a
thin film. He jerked the image back into his consciousness,
held it a moment, fixed it, then strode on - forward, forward;
she weaving, stopping, gathering.
He knew now
what he had to do: build, recreate, recapture.
He knew what he had to do.
Was that a
glow on the horizon? He strode on.
The woman was
suddenly beside him.
"Adam?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why rush?
We're going nowhere."
He didn't reply.
He knew what he had to do.
"Look
what I've found. See what God has provided."
She opened her palm - three seeds.
A snort of
air escaped his nostrils. "Good ! Good !"
He seemed preoccupied.
"Good!
You do that!" He strode off.
"Come!"
She watched
him, then followed, stopping repeatedly to gather: gather
and plant; gather; gather and plant; and
wondering why he sometimes stopped with pain in his eyes,
as if trying to remember something, oblivious of the demon
which drove him.
Build.
Must build. Yes, that's it. The glow.
No.
That's not it. Destroy.
Build.
Yes, that's it. The glow.
No, that's
not it. Destroy.
Build.
Yes, that's it. No. Not yet not quite yet.
Destroy.
Build.
That's it. No. Not quite.
Destroy.
Build.
That's it. Not quite. Destroy.
Build.
|
If
you're in the Aberdeen area, and need a bit of rejuvenation,
how about a spot of Reiki? For more information,
contact the Aberdeen Reiki Centre.
Very
interesting place to visit is Jimmy Campbell's site, dedicated
to the story of Madeleine Smith, the notorious poisoner of Glasgow.
You can listen to a full 55 minutes of story. Catch
it at
